Missoula seems to have a problem with lists–Top 10 lists to be exact (although we wouldn’t say no to a top 50 or 100).
We can’t stop getting on them.
The latest in the near-constant stream of hip-lists Missoula is so proud of making is “The Best Cities for Singles (Who like Being Single),” put out by SmartAsset, a company that provides “simple answers to complex financial questions.”
Ignoring the part where complex financial questions include where the best place to stay single is, this is another example of odd lists we can’t stay off of.
The criteria used for this list included unemployment rate, median rent, marriage rate (“Married people can be pretty boring,”) bars per capita and entertainment establishments per capita.
Missoula took the win easily because of the myriad of ways Missoulians can avoid being bored. Clearly, no one who made the list has attended a lecture at the University.
At the end of last year, the Missoulian wrote about the ridiculous amount of hip-lists the city has made over time.
The lists seem to fall into a few categories.
Ones that make sense; like when Buzzfeed named “A Carousel for Missoula” one of the top ten carousels to check out nationwide.
Then there are the generic lists. “Best College Towns,” is an easy one when the state only has two real college towns (sorry, Helena.)
There are also the lists based on cold hard facts that are hard to turn your nose up at. Last year, SmartAsset listed Missoula 8th on a list of Best Beer towns, in part based on having one of the highest per capita concentrations of microbreweries.
But the Missoulian article pointed out a category that is often unnoticed: Why The F*** are we on them.
As stated in the article, “Lumped in with the likes of Jakarta, Dubai and Dhaka, Bangladesh – the latter of which is a city of 7 million people and features only 60 occasionally operating traffic lights at its 650 busiest intersections – Missoula was named a nightmare for drivers.”
We can’t be excited that Thrillist, for the second time, named us one of the nine worst-designed cities on the planet.
Another travel website, EscapeHere.com, also claims Missoula to be one of the 10 most poorly designed cities in the world.
Both cities mention that the Slant Streets are the root cause to our problems. As if we didn’t already know that. If Malfunction Junction is worthy of ranking us with cities that play host to several million commuters a day… maybe we should take the hint.
The other list in the bizarre category is one put out by researchers at Cornell. They claim that Missoula is one of the four safest cities in the country during a hypothetical zombie apocalypse.
While I can’t say that I’m upset about living in such safe place from the Walking Dead… really? As if we don’t have enough legitimate lists to be apart of?
Oh wait, this one is totally important.
The Missoulian reports that the study “allegedly had a serious aspect to it. Alexander Alemi, one of the authors, told the Wall Street Journal the zombie simulation could have applications for modeling real-life outbreaks of infectious diseases.”
This is good news with Zika virus-infected mosquitoes set to invade the country this summer. Unless mosquitoes hear that about Missoula residents are among the top 10 best tasting blood types (Hipster positive or HPS+).
Other lists Missoula has already made for 2016 include: